


Okay

by mehsarah



Series: Foster Dad Lin Oneshots [12]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, FosterDadLin, Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8336254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mehsarah/pseuds/mehsarah
Summary: It takes a lot to convince Alex that it`s okay.Lins words are just enough.





	

**Author's Note:**

> okay so warning for violence and referenced sexual abuse.if that triggers you in any way please dont read.
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoy.this is a second part to a new home.i also got caramel apple pie tea and its delicious to drink while writing.i know im random.

His hands rushed up to his mouth to stop the screams escaping his now sore throat. Realising it was too late for that tears sprang into his eyes but he tried wiping them away in a rapid hand motion. He didn`t want to make this worse with more stupid lack of control over himself. Slowly shifting in bed he started breathing more regular and worked up what happened.

At 1 am Alex had finally noticed his eyelids wanting to stay shut and his body asking for rest. He was glad,it took a lot more to knock him out usually but today had been an eventul day. Getting comfortable in his new bed was strange. It was bigger and softer than any of his past sleeping places. It was almost too soft to be comfortable. All the money his new foster family had put into a boy they knew for a few weeks blew his mind. All he could do was hope that their intentions were actually as good as they seemed. Those thoughts drifted from him and he fell into a restless sleep.

Alexs sleeping pattern had always been unpredictable but there were never complications once he actually was asleep. This time it was different. The troubles came with the sleep. It all stacked up,all the painful events of his life. The hurricane that took away his home and safety. The sickness that took away his mother. That foster father who took away his dignity and left him in fear that now endulged him,climbing up his lungs to keep him from breathing. Making his way up to cloud his brain.

And there he was screaming at him,words that made him actually believe that he deserved being treated like less than nothing once they were marked into his brain clear enough. Throwing him around like he wasn`t just traumatising him for the rest of his life. He seemed oblivious of what an impact he had on him,how much he was scarring him when he held him down in a rush of impulses he couldn`t control. The scars and broken bones weren`t the worst by far. The worst was the feeling of plain hopelessness. Hopelessness that he would never find home again. Hopelessness that no one would be able to love him again. Numb,plain hopelessness.

He had felt it again in that dream,even worse,because it poisoned the safety of the house he was in right now. And then it was replaced by sheer terror as he stepped into vision again with his rough words and fists too match. And he had screamed and that maybe fucked up any shot he had at sleeping in this bed again.

At that thought he jumped up again. He needed to leave before it happened again. Or even worse,before he destroyed this family with the mess he was. Drowsy,he got up from the bed and then he noticed Lin standing in the doorway and fell right back on it. How long had he been standing there? Probably long enough to witness the disaster he was.

Noticing the boy had acknowledged his presence Lin tried to figure out the situation. He had expected something like this to happen. Alex had an awful past that scared him,just hearing brief information about it. But he had sworn himself to keep him safe from now and that included taking care of him in situations like this,even when he wasn`t sure how exactly.

"How long have you been here?" Alex locked eyes with him and his doubts were immediately replaced with the sheer need to help. "About a minute. I saw you calm down by yourself and didn`t want to disturb that." Alex laughed bitterly. "Seems like i disturbed myself. Wouldn`t be the first time." "Can i sit down next do you?" Alex cringed away at the question. He didn`t feel like being near to anyone right now. One wrong hand motion would set him off.

Lin didn´t need words to understand and nodded. "Okay. That`s fine. I want you to know that it`s fine for you to have your boundaries and that we will respect them."Alex eyes widened. He shook his head. "Why are you doing all of this? I`m messed up. That social worker surely showed you my file. You know that i`m messed up. Why all this effort?" Now Lin shook his head. "Because you`re a great kid with tons of talent and because everyone deserves a home. And we want to make this yours. And we`ll do everything to make that possible. No matter what." Lin felt his stomach flip in fear that he wouldn`t believe him,that he would hide himself away from him.

But the opposite happened. The words actually soothed him. They were so detailed and careful,nothing like the way he had spoken. And that soothed him. Basically anything that wasn`t him soothed him. Pulling his hands away from the way they had clenched at his chest in a proctecting pose he calmed down again. He still scanned the man in front of him,still not sure of what to think exactly. But he liked his words. And that`s what he said. "I like your words." Lin broke out in a smile. "I only can return that,buddy." And that actually caused Alex to smile back,only for a moment.

"I want you to know this is okay. You having nightmares and troubles. It`s only to be expected after what you`ve been trough. We won`t pressure you into anything. You don`t have to tell us anything you don`t want to. I know Vanessa feels the same." And Alex said: "Okay." and actually meant it. It was okay for the moment.

 

**Author's Note:**

> yoyoyo!Sooo i put spaces after sentences like some of you asked for.Please let me know if you like my words.
> 
> Talk shit to me on tumblr:target-for-far-away-laughter


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